The Blog of mandy5367

I've so totally failed in my last post's statement - that I was gonna post a blog every day. I know better than to make a statement like that! (Just clearing that up ^_^)

I went out with Cari and Mikey tonight, saw the movie Twilight. It was good :) I am glad I went, however something between being out with friends and the romantic aspect of the movie made me miss Jeff more than I have in a while. I felt lost because I was out, but I wasn't "with" anybody. I wanna be able to look over and kiss or hug my man. This military shit sucks, and now I know why I have always told myself I'd never get involved with a man who was or wanted to be in the military. Of course, it is entirely too late, as I have quite fallen for Jeff, so I shall continue to sit here and wait for him. It would help if I didn't feel like I was slowly losing more of myself day by day.

Constantly having to convince my own self that I have to wait, smothering the voice that's screaming like a child "Why can't he be here?!" There is no good god damn reason why this relationship is better than the rest, yet he's not even here. It's not a better one because he's not here, of course, but because the tiny amount of time I have spent physically with him, has been better than all the time I wasted on Chris, Jeremy, and Pat.

And my fucking pessimistic side keeps saying it won't work out, that it's too perfect and I don't deserve it.